Why Noticing Beauty Makes You a Better (and Happier) Parent
Beauty is all around us - but why?
As a species, we can see beauty. But why? Does the ability to see and observe beauty serve a purpose beyond aesthetics? When I look out my window on a rainy day, the way the leaves shine with intensity and the wind makes the tree limbs gracefully bend and dance—it’s mesmerizing. And yet, most of the time, we don’t even notice—afteral, the demands of parenthood are very distracting and loud.
What if beauty exists not just for admiration, but for our well-being? What if it’s sole purpose is to anchor us in the present, to nourish our emotional health, and to remind us, even in the most chaotic parenting moments, that life is rich and full of goodness?
The Many Forms of Gratitude
Gratitude isn’t just saying “thank you.” Gratitude can be categorized into various types, including personal gratitude for what you receive, interpersonal gratitude towards others, and transpersonal gratitude, which may involve feeling connected to a higher power or the universe. Each one of it’s forms shapes how we experience the world and our role as parents:
Reciprocal Gratitude – The kind we express in relationships, when there’s an exchange: “Thank you for making me coffee.” “I appreciate you helping with bedtime.” This form of gratitude strengthens social bonds and fosters a sense of community and mutual support.
Subtractive Gratitude – The mental exercise of recognizing what could be worse: “At least my kids are healthy.” “At least we have a home.” This isn’t about dismissing hardship but about shifting perspective. Practicing subtractive gratitude can help you to appreciate your current circumstances by considering how it could be more challenging.
Existential Gratitude – The deepest kind. The kind that doesn’t require a transaction. It’s simply the awe of existence. The gift of being alive, of witnessing our children grow, of experiencing fleeting moments of pure love. Existential gratitude involves a profound appreciation for life itself, often leading to increased well-being and a deeper sense of purpose.
The Connection Between Beauty, Gratitude, and Self-Trust
Beauty is always around us, but noticing it is a skill. When we pause and let it in, something powerful happens it helps to strengthen what I call the five contributors to self-trust:
Self-Worth – Seeing beauty reminds us that we are inherently valuable, not just because of what we do, but because we exist. We don’t have to earn rest, joy, or appreciation—we deserve them simply by being here.
Self-Efficacy – Recognizing beauty builds confidence in our ability to shift our mindset. If we can notice beauty in hard moments, we can trust ourselves to navigate challenges with perspective.
Self-Compassion – Noticing beauty softens our inner critic. It reminds us that perfection isn’t the goal—presence is. We don’t need to parent flawlessly; we just need to show up, again and again, with love.
Self-Resilience – Beauty is a steady undercurrent, a reminder that struggle and joy coexist. Seeing it helps us bounce back, knowing that difficult moments don’t erase the good.
Self-Confidence – The ability to spot beauty, even in exhaustion, is a form of trust in ourselves. It affirms that we are present enough to witness the good and strong enough to hold both beauty and hardship at once.
Why This Matters in Parenting
The acts of parenting can feel relentless. Another diaper. Another tantrum. Another dinner that no one will eat. But what if, in between those moments, we trained ourselves to notice the beauty? And it doesn’t have to be the beauty of your child’s crayon on the wall, let’s be realistic. Looking out your window is a perfect place to start. And it offers an individual experience for everyone, some of us like the rain others the sun, some like the wind others find it disconcerting, etc etc. Engaging with nature's beauty has been shown to reduce stress and improve mood, which can be particularly beneficial for navigating the monotony of parenting routines.
The golden light streaming through the window at bath time.
The sparkling waterspray as the car in front of you washes their windsheild.
The soft hush of the forest as you walk your dog.
These moments aren’t just fleeting joys; they are fuel. They are what keep us going, keep us soft, keep us connected and allow for our appreciation to seep indoors to the…
The way our child’s eyelashes rest against their cheek as they sleep.
The soft weight of their hand in ours.
To how holding them makes us feel held as well.
Beauty isn’t a mistake. It’s here for us—to soak into our souls, to remind us why we keep showing up, to help us see that even in the middle of the hardest days, the view from the top is breathtaking.
Want to start noticing more beauty in your everyday parenting moments?
Try these on for size:
🌿 Before bed, recall one small beautiful thing you noticed today.
📸 Take a quick photo of something that catches your eye—your child’s laughter, a shadow on the wall, your coffee in the morning light.
✏️ Write it down. The more you notice, the more beauty you will find.
Gratitude isn’t about ignoring hardship. It’s about seeing the whole picture—and allowing the breathtaking parts to land. - Stef 🪷