A Commitment to Parenting Mindfully

Growing up, I idolized Audrey Hepburn. I looked to her as a living example of what I felt inside on my very best days - beautiful, confident and empowered - center of the room, but still modest and kind. A single woman doing things the way she wanted to. She was always pushing herself to be her very best, a committed dancer before her acting career. Even after the war when her dancing career was over, she kept going, discovering new talents and became a sought-after superstar.

As I grew older and read more about her, I discovered that we were indeed more similar than I thought. When she discovered she could be a mother her life's priorities began to change - and her work life became difficult, always hoping to do "one last movie" and stay home. 

Her two worlds tugged at her: the one she had tried for her whole life and this new and wonderful adventure called Motherhood. In the end, she made the difficult choice to stop acting and become a full-time mom, a role which she was loyal to for the remainder of her life.

I think it was a brave and wonderful thing to do (and of course not a choice many of us could make without her superstar bankroll) A bonus of the decision can be found in her charity work with UNICEF which was given time to blossom and grow.

And the world went on without her - but the world inside her home would have been very different for her children (and the children of the world) if she hadn't fully committed to the thing she never knew she wanted.

Of course for her profession in the late 70s, she had to fully commit to her work, you simply did not split your time between motherhood and acting.

These days we can strive to have a career and be a fully present parent at the same time - but it’s in the commitment to parent mindfully that we finally figure out our next steps.

For me the role of “entrepreneur/boss mom/never-stop-always-go” finally ran out, my company acquired, my creative well ran dry - my “one last movie” was a wrap - and so I had little choice but to pick up the role of the SAHM. The way I conducted myself over the next two years is what changed me. Of course it did start out in a depressive state of clinging to everything that I thought had defined me: my work, my purpose, my financial independence, but eventually, (and with plenty of therapy) I decided it was time to parent differently. 

I was ready to take ownership of being a fully present parent - to try out PTA events and volunteer in the classroom, to actually listen to their long-winded stories and be curious about them too. More importantly, I was ready to look inside myself and listen to the mean things I had the habit of saying on a regular basis inside and out loud, too.

And through this commitment to my wellbeing I also realized that even though my gift has always been to help parents, I could do this with integrity and authenticity through my writing. And so I write here as much as I can, I write my newsletter and children’s books that pop into my head and my labor of love Parenting with Gratitude which I have spent over a year just letting pour out of me. 

I would have never been able to hear my thoughts and wisdom around this if I had made the choice to jump into one more startup or “one last movie” - my worlds would still be tugging in opposite directions with me tearing apart in the middle. In fact, I no longer have that problem at all, and it’s a wonderful feeling, one I will remain loyal to for the remainder of my life.