What’s in Your Parenting Cup?

I came across this analogy recently, and it stuck with me:

"You’re holding a cup of coffee when someone bumps into you. You spill your coffee everywhere. Why did you spill it? The person? Maybe it’s not because of the bump—but because coffee was inside your cup. If it was tea, then tea would have spilled. Whatever we carry inside us is what spills out when life shakes us."

I don’t know who first came up with this, but it’s been shared in so many different spaces—personal growth, mindfulness, even parenting circles. And as I read it, I couldn’t help but see how deeply it connects to parenting.

Because if there’s one thing I know, parenting will shake us.

And when it does, what spills out is not a reflection of failure or deficiency—it’s a reflection of what we’ve been carrying all along.

Some days, we spill love, patience, and presence. Other days, we spill exhaustion, frustration, and self-doubt. None of this means we’re doing it wrong. It simply means we’re human.

This is why I prefer this analogy over the one about “filling your cup.” Parenting isn’t about filling ourselves up with something better. It’s about noticing what’s already there, trusting it, and giving ourselves the grace to work with it.

So, can you take the time to notice what’s in your parenting cup today?

• Is it guilt, frustration, and self-doubt?

• Or is it self-trust, compassion, and gratitude?

So when life bumps you—when your 4-year-old refuses to put on their shoes, when your teenager ghosts your text—pause for a moment. Notice what’s spilling out. Instead of judging it, meet it with curiosity.

Because everything in your cup, even the hard stuff, has something to teach you.

And when we give ourselves that kind of grace, we create space for more of the good stuff—self-trust, gratitude, connection—to rise to the surface. Because what we hold within ourselves isn’t about fixing what’s broken. It’s about recognizing the strength that’s already there. -🪷 Stef