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How to Overcome Gratitude Resistance

What is holding you back from starting a gratitude practice?

Let’s talk about gratitude resistance. I know I’ve got to do it, I’ve read all the pieces that tell me it will rewire my brain, but I just can’t get started.

You know that a daily gratitude practice will change your parenting mindset and you even know that it doesn’t take much time but you still can't get started?

Still, holding out? Bring curiosity to it. Curiosity is the key to overcoming resistance.

Check-in with yourself. Are you afraid to ask, “Why won’t I do this for me?”

We are all afraid to dig deeper under the resistance because it could mean that we'd have to pause. We'd have to take a break from all our running around, our busy, busy world, and in that pause maybe we will notice that our lives are not working for us? Oops.

I don’t want to go there and drown. So let’s not. Let’s find a way to be curious without drowning in the unmet needs we are not ready to poke at yet.

Instead, let’s focus on the results of that daily gratitude practice. I swear that once you feel the results of daily gratitude the big existential questions get answered!

So let’s swap being afraid of what will be uncovered and get excited for what may come. Scientists say more small moments of positivity make the biggest impact on our mindset and well-being. And excitement is a small positive moment. So is gratitude. And the process of self-reflection can help you to find more moments just watch.

Maybe your curious moment is as simple as asking: Just what did I miss yesterday that I can savor today? What have I already forgotten?

And so you get excited about discovering the result. This is the beginning of turning your brain towards positivity and pulling your focus away from the negative. Because when you do, your daily gratitude practice will train your brain to see how great of a mother you already are. And I want that for you.

I know from my personal experience, that my life has dramatically changed since I started to pause and reflect. Sure I do not have toddlers anymore and my kids are in school. But my kids have been in school all day for six years. And during those six years, three of them I was a mess. I was not delegating. I was not choosing myself first. And I certainly wasn't communicating with my partner.

The need for self-care is real. It’s giving yourself the space to look at your resistance and say Ok! I am ready for a change. And self-care is not sitting in a bathtub either. It's when you're in that tub, and you have the space enough to do the self-reflection needed — then you make an intention, and maybe that intention to ask for help. Maybe that is exactly the motivation you need to talk about daily chores in the household with your partner.

Self-care is about action, it’s about taking the next steps after you've carved out that small moment of peace.

So I will leave you with that. And I hope that this week, you sit down with yourself and ask “Am I taking care?” and “Where I am excited to get started?”

And if you're looking for a simple place to start find a way to insert gratitude into your daily routine. Five days of the week. Just do it because the compound effect of doing it every day will kick in I promise, but it won't kick in if you don't start. Good luck. - Stef

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Parenting with GRATITUDE™: A Cheatsheet

Parenting with gratitude is an easy way to shift your daily experience from frustration to happiness and contentment.

go from WTF to ‘ENough’ with gratitude:

This is your cheatsheet — a place to start — and if you are ready, go deeper here.

  1. Wake up a bit earlier, nothing crazy, just like 5 minutes earlier.

  2. Write down 6 to 10 things you are grateful for - this trains your brain away from the negativity bias and forces you to look over your yesterdays.

  3. Remind yourself your children don’t know your past traumas or the emotional burdens you may carry.

  4. Then remind yourself that they are new to this planet.

  5. Go through your day and observe your children with the same awe and wonder they observe the world.

  6. Start saying out loud the nice things that are already in your head.

  7. Begin noticing when you’re upset and what your expectations are in that moment.

  8. Before you go to bed, go to your children’s rooms, and look at their sleeping faces. Wish them well, and feel your love for them intensely throughout your body.

  9. Mentally list three things you're grateful for as you get into bed.

  10. Remind yourself of one magic moment or something that went well that day.

Rise and repeat.

Watch as your experience improves week over week (and it will)

Gratitude can save your Motherhood. But Parenting with Gratitude™ is not the goal - it's the method. It's the means to achieving our goal of becoming happier humans, which starts with parenting differently.

I want to parent differently than I was raised.

I want to parent differently than I did five years ago.

Let’s figure out how to become less triggered and more present…all with the help of gratitude.

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