Burned Out or Just Stressed? How to Tell the Difference
Parental Burnout vs. Parental Stress
What’s the Difference?
Let’s be honest, parenting can be a total s*** show - a firehose of surprises, joy, and challenges that feel like they will never end. It can feel overwhelming, exhausting, and relentless. At some point, most of us have felt stretched sooooooo thin, caught in the never-ending cycle of caregiving tasks, while adapting to changing circumstances and expectations. That’s why it’s important to recognize the difference between everyday stress and full-blown burnout—because one is a rough day, and the other can make you question everything.
Parental stress is a natural response to the demands of raising children—figuring out how to soothe a crying baby or managing a teenager’s curfew negotiations. Parental burnout, on the other hand, is when stress turns chronic and depletes you entirely. It’s more than feeling tired; it’s feeling like you have nothing left to give, emotionally or physically. Research shows that parental burnout stems not only from the pressures of caregiving but also from a culture that glamorizes sacrifice while offering little systemic support. Recognizing the signs of burnout is the first step toward breaking the cycle.
What’s Causing Parental Burnout?
Fifty-seven percent (57%) of parents self-reported burnout in an Ohio State 2024 survey. So, what’s driving this pervasive issue? For many, it’s the impossible expectations placed on parents today. We’re told to be constantly present, perfectly engaged, and endlessly productive. If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing no matter what you do, you’re not alone.
But burnout isn’t just about the demands placed on us—it’s about the gap between those demands and the resources we have to meet them. When the system leaves parents without support—like affordable childcare, flexible work options, or community networks—burnout becomes a natural consequence.
What Are Some Signs of Parental Burnout?
Burnout doesn’t show up with a big red flag 🚩 or an official warning 🚨 —it sneaks in, slow and steady, until one day you realize you’ve got nothing left in the tank. Maybe you feel emotionally detached from your kids or find yourself snapping at them more often. You might wake up feeling as exhausted as when you went to bed, or you’ve started questioning whether you’re cut out for parenting at all. These feelings can spiral if left unaddressed.
There are the four widely recognized signs of parental burnout, or a “prolonged response to chronic and overwhelming parental stress” (Mikolajczak & Roskam, 2018). But here’s the good news: You can interrupt that spiral. And no, you don’t need a life overhaul or a weeklong retreat to do it.
4 Symptoms of Parental Burnout:
- Extreme exhaustion – Waking up already drained, dreading another day of parenting, and feeling emotionally depleted.
- Emotional distancing – Becoming less engaged, going through the motions, and interacting only to meet basic needs rather than for connection.
- Loss of fulfillment – Feeling fed up with parenting, no longer enjoying time with your children, and questioning your role as a parent.
- Drastic shift from the past – Feeling completely different from the parent you once were, as if you’ve lost the joy or purpose you used to have in parenting.
Not sure if you are burned out? Take this quiz.
How Can Gratitude Help Interrupt Burnout?
This is where the Parenting with Gratitude® method comes in. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring the hard stuff or slapping a smile on your face when you feel like crying. It’s about noticing the good that already exists, even in the chaos. Gratitude allows you to focus on what’s working instead of what’s not—giving you a much-needed mental reset.
For example, instead of ruminating on a how you handled a tantrum-filled morning, you might notice how your child’s laughter lit up lunchtime later. Gratitude doesn’t erase the challenges, but it softens their edges, helping you approach parenting with more resilience and joy.
How Can Parents Start Practicing Gratitude Today?
You don’t need hours of free time or fancy tools to begin. Here are three small steps you can take today:
End the day with a win: Before bed, write down one thing that went well—even if it’s as simple as everyone eating dinner without complaint.
Shift your focus: The next time you catch yourself replaying a tough parenting moment, pause and ask yourself: What went right today?
Create a gratitude anchor: Choose a simple ritual that reminds you to notice the good—whether it’s every time you grab your keys, or maybe tacking up a favorite quote on the fridge that will catch your eye each time you breeze by.
Parenting with gratitude doesn’t mean pretending things aren’t hard. It means giving equal weight to the joy, connection, and growth that come alongside the challenges. And when you start noticing those moments more often, something shifts—you stop surviving and start thriving.
So, the next time you feel like parenting is all too much, try this: Take a deep breath, look for one thing you’re grateful for, and remind yourself that you’re doing enough. You’ve got this.
Ready to take the next step? Learn more about the Parenting with Gratitude® method and how it can transform your parenting journey. Let’s embrace the joy already waiting for us.