Gratitude Practice: Community Gratitude Events
Becoming a mother is a wild and life-altering experience. As moms, we navigate a whirlwind of emotions, from the overwhelming love for our little ones to the persistent worries about their safety and well-being. One thing we all want is for our children to grow up happy, healthy, and well-adjusted. But as the world changes around us, the way our children play and develop has evolved, often in ways that give us cause for concern.
The Decline of Unstructured Play
Unstructured playtime, where children use their imaginations and creativity to explore the world around them, has been on the decline in recent years (down by 50% in the last half decade!). Factors like fears, anxieties, and societal changes have led to the significant decrease and it has had a negative impact on our children's well-being.
Attachment theory, established by John Bowlby and Harry Harlow in the 1950s, emphasizes the basic needs for safety and exploration for children. It highlights that kids need to feel secure to play and explore the world. Now, to dig a bit deeper into what happened to play…the decline of unstructured play started before the current youth mental health crisis, during the '80s and '90s when kidnapping scares were widely publicized. Access to green spaces and varying crime levels across different socioeconomic groups further contributed to the decline.
As concerns for our children's safety have grown, parents from various economic backgrounds have responded differently. Some have enrolled their children in structured after-school programs, while others have chosen to keep them indoors (often relying on screen-time).
A Holistic Solution through Gratitude
I believe there's a simple solution to this, and it begins with sharing our thankfulness within our community. Practicing gratitude can have a big impact, like reducing our stress as parents, helping our kids become more independent and happier, and creating a safer and more trustworthy neighborhood for everyone.
History has shown that strong communities have a profound impact on individuals. Early research by Emile Durkheim revealed that individuals living alone or in less tight-knit communities had higher suicide rates. Recent studies, such as the work of James H. Fowler and Nicholas A. Christakis, have shown that when we're part of close-knit communities, we tend to be happier and have more vibrant social networks.
The Practice: Community Gratitude Events
Gratitude events that honor support people in our lives like librarians, crossing guards, and bus drivers remind us of how good our community already is. Gratitude can unite a community around a shared purpose, which can extend to advocating for systemic improvements, such as more green spaces and safe places for kids’ independent play.
When we all express gratitude together, it spreads a cultural message of kindness, understanding, and belonging. This makes kids feel safe and more supported by their community and helps them connect with their neighbors, which, in turn, builds the emotional strength they need for playing on their own.
The "Find, Bind, and Remind" Cycle
The cycle of "find, bind, and remind" promoted by gratitude also allows children to discover positive qualities in their playmates (finding), develop empathy (binding), and encourages them to spend more time together (reminding). Kids in the neighborhood form strong bonds, and that brings families closer as parents get to know each other through their children.
We all face safety issues and laws that make it challenging to give our children the freedom to explore as we once had. But collective bonding within a community is essential for enabling independent play to thrive. And while a neighborhood BBQ can serve as a community reminder, gratitude serves as a community binder. After all, when you know your neighbors are kind, caring and generous people, trust is built, and you are more likely to let your kids play on the sidewalk or walk to school or ride their bikes.
Give it a try
Give a gratitude event a try in your neighborhood and share your experiences with me! It can be as easy as hosting a little get-together in your garage, signing thank-you cards, and swapping stories while the kids draw with sidewalk chalk. It just amazing how by organizing a simple gratitude event that celebrate how connected our communities are, we can encourage independent play, too! Gratitude helps us build strong connections, no matter our background. So, embrace gratitude and strengthen your community bonds and you can ensure your kids grow up in a loving connected environment filled with independent play.
As moms we have the power to make a positive change in our communities and our kids' future. And despite what we have heard, it's not all bad out there! We can foster gratitude and work together to make sure our kids grow up in a world that treasures unstructured play, exploration, and the joy of making connections with others. And don’t you ever forget - you are a GoodAF Mom. - Stef
