Gratitude: The Parenting Superpower You Already Have

Parenting is stressful–yeah I’ve heard that. But here’s the thing— I believe that parenting is also a source of strength, resilience, love and connection —and gratitude, a positive emotion we all know and love. And gratitude has never really been applied to one of life’s biggest challenges: raising kids.

Mindfulness? Sure, it’s great. But for most parents, taking a 20-minute meditation break or going on a retreat isn’t exactly practical. What we need is something that works in the chaos, not outside of it. And that’s where gratitude comes in.

Over half of the gratitude parents feel in their lives (58%) is directly linked to their role as a parent.

• Gratitude builds resilience
• Gratitude creates meaning
• Gratitude enhances self-worth

Parenting is one of the most demanding roles of a lifetime, yet it’s rarely talked about in a way that highlights it’s benefits. Too often, the narrative is about what we’re doing wrong (either not doing enough, or doing too much.) But what if we decided to shift that narrative?

As a gratitude researcher, I’ve spent the past few years studying how gratitude intersects with parenting—and the results might surprise you. My findings show that over half of the gratitude parents feel in their lives (58%) is directly linked to their role as a parent. 

In fact, 72% of parents I talked to used gratitude as a tool during tough times, helping them navigate challenges with greater resilience and meaning.

Gratitude isn’t just a ‘nice to try’—it’s a powerful, science-backed tool for improving your well-being and transforming how you experience parenting.

What Gratitude Does for Parents

1. Gratitude Builds Resilience

Parenting is full of stress—64% of parents report high levels of stress according to the U.S. Surgeon General. But here’s the good news: gratitude may act as a protective factor. My research found that parents who actively practice gratitude reported higher resilience and emotional regulation.

When we notice even small wins, like getting through bedtime without tears or sharing a silly moment with our kids, we reframe challenges as opportunities for growth. Gratitude doesn’t erase the hard parts, but it helps us bounce forward stronger.

2. Gratitude Creates Meaning in the Mess

72% of parents I talked to used gratitude as a tool during tough times.

Parenting often feels like an endless to-do list. But gratitude can turn those everyday moments into something meaningful.

In my research, parents shared that reflecting on gratitude helped them make sense of the chaos, and notice when they got things right amidst the chaos. This meaning-making helped creat a deeper connection to their role. Gratitude allows you to see beyond the torn books and the tantrums and focus on what truly matters: the bond you’re building with your child and the strengths you flex each day as you show up imperfectly for them.

3. Gratitude Enhances Self-Worth

Let’s talk about “Mom Guilt.” Modern parenting culture is riddled with shame and self-criticism, making us feel like we’re never enough. Gratitude changes that.

By focusing on what’s working—like the effort you put in every day—you start to see yourself not as a failure, but as a capable, loving parent. This shift in perspective is vital for building self-worth, a foundation for thriving in parenthood.

Gratitude in Action

How to Start Today:

Gratitude doesn’t require perfection or hours of free time. Here’s how you can begin:

• Daily Gratitude Reflection: Take 2 minutes each day to list 3 things you’re grateful for—big or small. This practice helps train your brain to notice the good.
• Gratitude Pause: When you feel overwhelmed, pause and ask, “What’s one thing going right?” This simple act can shift your mindset in real time.
• Gratitude with Kids: At dinner or bedtime, ask your children to share one thing they’re grateful for. This not only builds connection but teaches them lifelong skills for resilience.

Customize your practice based on your personality, time, whatever makes you, you with more practices here.

The Parental Gratitude Well-Being Framework

In my research, I developed a framework that shows how gratitude interacts with key protective factors like resilience, meaning-making, and self-efficacy. These elements form a virtuous cycle, where gratitude enhances well-being, which in turn strengthens your ability to parent with intention and joy. 

An actionable way to look at this cycle is the PWG© Formula which is: Intention + Attention + Action + Repetition = Results You Can See and Feel.

This isn’t about ignoring the hard parts of parenting. It’s about balancing them with moments of joy and connection. Gratitude reminds us that we are not defined by our struggles but by noticing the tools we already have within us to learn from and rise above them.

Ready to Start?

Parenting isn’t perfect, but it’s full of opportunities to grow, connect, and flourish. When we practice gratitude, we unlock a new way of seeing ourselves, our children, and the journey we’re on together.

Join me in the 90-Day Gratitude Challenge and discover how this simple practice can transform your parenting—and your life. Want to read more about the benefits of Parenting with Gratitude? Click here.

Family Gratitude Ideas: January

Instead of New Year’s Resolutions, I start out each year by making a list of how I want to feel. After all, new year, same me–not new me–and I love myself exactly how I am. I have felt things in the past that maybe I want to feel again and more of! But this time I will use the power of purpose and intention to make them come to life and savor them when they are here.

This year I want to feel:

• the freedom to let go
• socially supported
• unlimited
• ready, capable and equipped
• creative, inspired and writerly.

So first up on the family list of gratitude ideas for the month of January is:

1. How do you want to feel this year?

   For kids this prompt may look a bit different than for you. Since emotional intellegence is a skill we can all learn from a young age, but the vocabulary of emotions is something that our generations werent necessarily taught using a feelings wheel here would be super helpful. Here’s one especially made for kids of different ages that features drawings of the emotions as well as the corresponding word.

   1. For toddlers you may ask - Whats your favorite way to feel? How much do you want to feel that? All the time? Sometimes?

   2. For elementary school aged kids you can have them associate a feeling word with each month. Then on the 1st check in and ask them in what ways they will make it happen each month.

   3. And for older kids they can choose a few different ways they want to feel for the year and write them down on a note card they can post in their room - or write on a paper calendar they may have or put them in their phone on the first of each month.

2. The Grateful Home Game

Visit one room at a time within your home, (even the bathrooms!) and see if you can make a list of all the things you are grateful for in that room. Which room ends up having the longest list? In which room do you find things that surprise you? Does your dog follow you from room to room - listing them in each room counts in my book! :)

Whether it’s the rainy season or the full on chill of winter, when we can’t go outside due to weather, it’s naturally harder to find things to be grateful for. So this game can help bring a fresh look at the spaces you inhabit on a daily basis, and it will make you feel pretty good about yourself too. I bet some of the things your kids may be grateful for like the warm water or bubbles in the tub are there because of your hard work and effort to add a bit of magic to their lives.

3. Books to read that will inspire gratitude, delight and awe:

1. Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney

   If I could list this book every month, I would. Its one of my favorites of all time. The story follows the life of Miss Rumphius, from little girl to eldery woman. Inspired by her grandfather's advice to make the world more beautiful, she travels the globe in search of adventure and eventually fulfills her dream by planting lupines across the countryside. This inspiring story blends themes of wanderlust, purpose, and legacy - literally showing how planting seeds of different sorts from travel to flowers can have an enormous effect on the world around us. A true “we make ripples in the world” book.

2. The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton

   The Little House built with care in the countryside, witnesses the changing seasons and the growth of a bustling city around it, longing for the simplicity of its earlier days. The house embodies gratitude for the quiet joys of the countryside and the sense of belonging in a cherished home. As the story unfolds, it contrasts the bustling, impersonal growth of the city with the enduring value of the simple, serene life the house originally knew. The resolution reminds readers to value and be grateful for the foundational, often overlooked aspects of life that bring true contentment. The simple things.

3. Of Thee I sing by Barack Obama

   In Of Thee I Sing, Barack Obama writes a heartfelt letter to his daughters, celebrating the traits of historical figures who embody the values of bravery, creativity, and compassion. Each page honors a trailblazer—from Georgia O’Keeffe to Martin Luther King Jr.—while encouraging readers to look for these qualities within themselves. The book invites reflection on the legacy of those who came before us and gratitude for the strengths and potential we all hold to make a difference in the world. It’s a beautiful reminder to appreciate not only what others have achieved but also the unique gifts we bring to our communities and homes.

Interested in more Family Gratitude Ideas? How about 365+? Check out the Gratitude Calendar archive here! - Stef

Family Gratitude Ideas: December

As the holiday spirit fills our homes, it's easy to overlook the incredible thoughtfulness and effort we already put into creating magical moments for our kids. The holidays are a perfect opportunity to not only celebrate those strengths but also to add rituals that nurture family connection and cultivate gratitude. This December, give a few new family rituals a try, each designed to foster connection and appreciation. From delightful holiday feasts with fun conversation starters to post-holiday traditions that extend the joy well into the new year, these activities promise to infuse your family's December with warmth, gratitude, and a touch of festive magic.

December 21st:

A Parents Day of Rest

The holidays often center on creating joy for our kids, and as parents, we show up for that with love and care. But it’s just as important to honor the traditions and moments that fill our own cups. That’s why I created the Parents Day of Rest where I focus on my favorite things to do. No kids holiday music or movies - just Nat King Cole and White Christmas. I may even cook a batch of cookies that have things in them that only I like! Take the day - and share your fun using #parentsdayofrest on Instagram.

Holiday mEALS:

Conversation Starters

Try Table Topics Gratitude to start some really fun holiday conversations focused around what we have and not what we will receive. Gratitude conversations are a wonderful way to help your family notice the joy you’re already creating. As you share what you’re thankful for, you’ll likely uncover the small, meaningful ways you’re already enriching each other’s lives.

All winter long:

Gratitude Snowstorm

This is a crowd favorite in my house. Do your kids love to cut snowflakes out of paper? Every time they make a snowflake encourage them write a piece of gratitude on it. Then place a string across a room and hang the snowflakes from it at varying heights. Then watch the indoor snowstorm grow throughout the winter season! (Looks really pretty too!)

After The Holidays:

A Year of Gratitude

Each family member reflects on the past year and makes a list of moments they’re grateful for—big or small—that highlight the unique ways you’ve all contributed to a meaningful year together and places it in their empty stocking or the holiday decoration box before it all gets packed away. Read them all together when the decorations come out again next year.

Sincere Thanks - Explain to your little ones that this year they will be writing Thank You notes to family and friends who send them gifts. Disclosing this upfront will hopefully help them notice when opening gifts, so that the thankfulness they share is sincere. If they don’t have any genuine gratitude (maybe because the gift was something they already had, etc) I encourage my kids to think of the person wrapping it and taking time out of their day for them finding something within the act itself to be grateful for. Gratitude isn’t about perfection; it’s about noticing the care that others show us in their own ways.

During Winter Break:

Friend Appreciation

Have your children make a list of friends who were there for them this past year. Suggest they send them a drawing or a printed photo showcasing a fun activity they did together or a letter via snail mail. (Older kids won’t want to do this part, but making the list alone will remind them of the social support they have and can lean on for the rest of the school year.)

Gratitude is already woven into so many parts of your family’s life—sometimes we just need a little reminder to see it. Looking for more ideas? Check out November’s post, filled with even more ways to celebrate the strengths that make your family uniquely yours.

What to Read Next…

Hope as Your Anchor: Navigating Modern Parenthood with Optimism

Let’s get real for a moment about this wild ride called parenting. It is an ever-changing, sometimes overwhelming job, where the rules seem to be constantly rewritten. That's where Pragmatic Hope comes in - it’s not just hope that is a pipe dream, or pretending everything's peachy. It's about finding strength in the real, the messy, the everyday chaos of parenting our little ones and being deliberate in our plans.

I’ve navigated the ups and downs of parenting young children for over two decades. The days are long, the nights can feel endless, and those early mornings... well, they come way too soon. Choosing hope over helplessness is a decision we have to make every. single. day. because the realities of parenting are overwhelming. We can give up or we can choose to look towards the future.

Of course the future may need a bit of a refreshed perspective: Instead of striving for the elusive 'perfect parent' status, why not aim for something more realistic and kind to yourself? Harnessing pragmatic hope helps us to set achievable goals and find joy in the little victories, all while being gentle with our progress. As Rumi wisely said, "Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder."

Now, let’s sprinkle some of this hope into our daily routines with three simple, gratitude-filled exercises:

1. Kick-Start Your Day:

Before the day sweeps you off your feet, jot down three things you’re thankful for having in your life. It could be as simple as your kiddo's infectious laugh or that much-needed cup of coffee. This will set a positive tone for your day and remind you of the good amidst the whirlwind.

Role of Hope: Starting the day by identifying things to be grateful for is an act of hopeful anticipation. It fosters a mindset that, regardless of the day's challenges, there are always elements of positivity and potential for good. This practice cultivates an optimistic outlook, encouraging you to face the day with a hopeful perspective.

Impact on Parenting: By beginning the day focusing on positive aspects, you are more likely to approach parenting challenges with a hopeful and constructive attitude, expecting positive interactions and outcomes.

2. Pause and Observe:

Amidst the daily hustle, take a moment to just watch your child. Whether it’s during a meal, playtime, or those rare quiet moments. Observe them, breathe in, and silently express gratitude for these precious moments.

Role of Hope: Mindful observation of your child is an exercise in hopeful presence. It is about seeing the potential and beauty in every moment with the child, even in routine or challenging situations. This practice is underpinned by the hope that these moments contribute to the child's growth and the deepening of the parent-child bond.

Impact on Parenting: Engaging in mindful observation helps parents appreciate the journey and maybe even dip into the unique feeling of "parental gratitude”, fostering deep meaning and purpose to one’s day.

3. Reflect and Reset in the Evening:

As the day winds down, think of one parenting challenge you dealt with and see if you can find a positive takeaway. Then, set an intention for the next day, something to help you and your kiddo thrive which is rooted in your hopes and dreams for them.

Role of Hope: Reflecting on the day's challenges and setting intentions for the next day is a practice of hopeful resilience. It’s about acknowledging that while not every day is perfect, there is always the hope and possibility for improvement and growth. Setting positive intentions is an act of looking forward with hope to what can be achieved.

Impact on Parenting: This practice encourages you to not be defined by the day's hassles but to maintain hope for better days. It helps to instill a growth mindset, where challenges are seen as opportunities for learning and betterment.

"Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder." -Rumi

Our kids offer us a daily chance to grow, to embrace our current selves. They allow us to see that there is good even when the world feels frustrating and even a little bit rigged.

Remember, this journey is about practice, not perfection. It’s about setting intentions for our daily lives, and finding gratitude in the everyday.

Do you have an intention? Transform your parenting style into something more fulfilling by giving hope a place in your routines. You've got this. - Stef

What to read next…

Slow November: Family Gratitude Ideas and Activities

Well, it's officially the month of gratitude, and I like to keep it that way by saving the holiday decorations for December. You see, for me, it became clear that when my family got too caught up in the winter holidays, we tended to overlook the season of appreciation and thanks. Of course, there's nothing wrong with a little holiday excitement. I mean, Santa and his reindeer are practically my besties. But it got me thinking — who should really define our family values, Walmart and Lego, or us?

After pondering this for many years, I felt increasingly uncomfortable with our family's growing focus on materialism during a holiday season that seemed to expand every year, all driven by big businesses. So, I decided to take back November and stand up for our family values. When December 1st finally rolls around, I'm ready with my blinking lights, tree, and fake snow. But for November, we're all about embracing a slower pace. It's a time when we put our focus on family, friends, and our community. We reach out to our neighbors, and we take a moment to reflect on the kindness we've shared.

Without this pause, we risk losing the true essence of what makes these family moments meaningful. If we don't slow down in November, we might find ourselves swept up in the commercial whirlwind, missing the genuine connections and gratitude we all long for.

This Month is our time to hit the pause button and embrace a 'Slow November.'

In today's fast-paced world, a 'Slow November' holds more significance than ever. With our lives filled with endless distractions and the constant pull of technology, it's easy to lose sight of the value of genuine human connection. We often rush through moments, failing to appreciate the simple joys of family, friendship, and community. But here's the thing – in this digital age, we have the opportunity to set an example for our children. By slowing down in November, we not only rediscover the beauty of gratitude, but we also teach our little ones to embrace the art of mindfulness. Amidst the chaos of modern life, we can guide them to pause, reflect, and appreciate the love and support that surrounds them. In this hurried world, the power of a genuine 'thank you' and a warm hug should never be underestimated.

So, as we enter this season of togetherness, let's make an extra effort to nurture gratitude within our families and communities. And if you're looking for a way to kickstart those gratitude conversations, check out this list of 100 gratitude prompts, perfect for family dinners or engaging your little ones in the spirit of appreciation or scroll down for my list of options you can try this month.

Slow November: Family Gratitude Ideas & Activities

Gratitude bags

(Make These at the Beginning of the month)

Recently I was chatting with a friend (David Berez), swapping family gratitude ideas and he shared a wonderful act his family preforms all throughout the year: Gratitude Bags.

Fill small resealable bags with 4 or 5 peices of candy (eh-hem maybe put the Halloween Candy to good use here) and then place a label on it, and maybe even sign your family’s names. Then keep the bags in your purse or diaper bag, because you will be on the lookout for everyday helpers in your life. Gift the bags to flight attendents, janitors, librarians, anyone who your kids would like to thank or made an impact on your family. You can do this when you are traveling or just running errands. Make sure to let your little one hand over the bag so they get the full effect that giving thanks can bring. Download this cute label if you need a place to start with your bags, I use the Avery 5160 template for the printing.

Community Gratitude Board

(Beginning of the Month)

If you live in a neighborhood where people walk dogs, push strollers, go for runs, and ride bike then set up a Community Gratitude Board in your front yard. You can use a white board or a chalkboard (just protect it from the weather.) If you live in an apartment building with a parking garage add it to your parking space! If you live in a place where outdoors is not possible then set up a Community Gratitude Board with an online program like Mural - and then share the link with friends and family on social media. At the end of the month take a photo or a screenshot of the board to share with neighbors and with your kids. Bonus: Have you kids contribute to the board once a week for extra practice!

Operation Gratitude 

(Beginning and throughout the month)

Each November, our family helps to send care packages to our active military via Operation Gratitude. November is a great time to thank these people who sacrifice so much and this year it’s more important than ever due to unrest in areas around the globe and increased troop deployment.

Operation Gratitude sends items like antibacterial wipes, coffee, candy and more in care packages and they are expecting around 12,000 care package requests by the end of this year alone. I let each child pick one or two items from the organizations wish list and they add their preference to my online shopping cart. Then we all pack the big box together, adding drawings and personal cards sharing our thanks. Operation Gratitude is a California corporation, granted 501(c)(3) exempt status by the IRS — you can learn more about them here.

Grateful Mealtime Ideas

(Thanksgiving Week)

There are so many ways to practice gratitude at the dinner table.

Watch this video for a few fresh ideas that include gratitude jars, gratitude linking chains and more.

Gratitude Savenger Hunt

(End of the Month)

I developed this scavenger hunt as something to do while the turkey cooked — but I think it also works great at the end of the month as a celebration for all your kids’ efforts. The “prize” at the end of the hunt is a list of things you appreciate about them and generosity can definitely be on that list. Reflecting on their grateful attitude during the month of November will pay off going into December allowing them to give and receive with more grace and awareness of the effort it takes.

I hope you enjoy taking November Back and the pause that can deepen our family connection to community and the world beyond. And until next time don’t you ever forget you are a GoodAF Mom. - Stef

What to read next…

Yes, the kids are worse for you - and now there's proof.

@hottomato1029

Youre doing good Mums! ❤️ Research on why kids are most brutal to their mothers…

♬ original sound - hottomato

So, you might have seen a TikTok recently claiming that kids are 800 times worse for their parents. It went viral, but here's the kicker – the so-called "study" it was based on was total fiction, cooked up by Mom News Daily. Still, it resonated with so many of us, and there's a reason why. Kids ARE worse for their parents, especially their mothers. But it's because they feel comfortable, safe, and supported around us. It's kind of like when you're with your best friend. You say and do things you'd never dream of at a cocktail party (unless you're three drinks in, of course!).

This is NOT REAL! But it feels it!

Kids with secure attachments know their parents will love and protect them no matter what - in fact, they rely on this fact for all of their growth. Without this feeling of safety and support, they would never explore their world and take risks. Think about it – it's much easier to try new things at work when you have a kind, supportive boss who won't fire you for making mistakes. Now try that except on overdrive - unconditional love means we are not going anywhere. And if your kid knows that — that’s a win, Mama.

But yes, there's no denying that sometimes being a mom feels like you've drawn the short straw, and it's not just now and then, but all the time. From the moment they wake up to when they go to sleep, it can feel like you're their personal punching bag. When you want one thing done, they are on the floor kicking and screaming. When you pick them up from a playdate, you’re told what an amazing eater they are. When they head out for the day with your partner or your parent, they're all sunshine and rainbows, and they all have “such a great time!”

For me, that last one stings the most. I know that if I were to take the kids to the Discovery Museum or the beach, some of it would be fun, but it would also be a constant tug of war. And when my partner or parents tell me about their amazing outings, it's hard not to feel a little resentment. Thoughts like, "How could you go out and have a good time? Motherhood should be like that for me!" sneak in. But the hard truth is that I'm the mother and those picture-perfect moments I thought I was destined for rarely happen. And there's real grief in that, Mama. I still feel it, even though my kids are almost teens.

And those experiences you thought you were destined for, the cuddly couch moments, the sharing of a picnic on the beach, the laughing together as you push the grocery cart, they die a death that breaks your heart. You thought motherhood would be filled with these moments, and it’s just not. And there is tremendous grief around that Mama. I know, I feel it still. It’s a sort of death, of all the experiences you thought would make motherhood feel worth it.

I think it’s important to talk about this grief because it is what binds us together as a community of moms. It’s the ideal we were fed that we would love motherhood, that it was so full of meaning that the crap that goes with it, the daily slog, the cultural expectations to be a super mom, the unequal distribution of the emotional load — that it would be all “worth it” but it falls short.

And maybe that’s why you are here on my page parentdifferently.com - because you want to find a way to parent differently - to parent with joy, fun, and gratitude because the daily grind just kinda sucks, doesn’t it? Well, I will tell you that there is no magic solution, but I do have a few ideas that will make it suck less. Starting by taking a step back and looking at your life from 8,000 feet up. What are you grateful for? What makes YOU a GoodAF mom? What parts of your life just light you up? What makes you excited to be alive? These are your “whys,” the reasons you get out of bed in the morning - and they matter even if they are a little cheesy. They matter because they are the foundation which you build every single day upon. A good intention will get you far, Mama (and that’s one of the reasons it’s the first step in the Parenting with Gratitude™ equation more here on that).

Long Term Practice to try

Gratitude and Savoring. Once you have your WHY in hand, the next thing you can try is Savoring - and I have a whole podcast on this practice. Whether it's your child's birthday or any special time, focus on your five senses – notice the crinkle of wrapping paper, the joy in their giggle, the smell of cupcakes baking, and the softness of their favorite shirt. Take your time to savor these moments, and they'll grow in your memory.

Something to do this week:

So, I’m not going to leave you high and dry here - It's important to address the sadness and discomfort, but it's also crucial to find immediate relief. For me, this is where a YES Day thrives.

A YES Day is a day when you say yes. A YES Day is a carefully planned and boundary-set day when you say "yes" more than usual. Discuss with your child how it'll look and what rules should be in place. Be prepared, and make it a special day, an oasis of joy and happiness in the midst of everyday life. Then, put your day on the calendar, the anticipation will be palpable! And on that day, be ready to savor the look on your kid’s face when you say yes, the fun things they come up with, and you do together - it will take you through a few more weeks. And maybe you put a yes day on the calendar every month - or once a school break - or just once a year. Whatever you do, it will be special, and I hope you enjoy the moments because a YES Day is really for you.

Don't forget, even when no one else in your house seems to notice, you are a GoodAF mom - Stef

What to read next…

The Myth of a Perfect Motherhood

EMBRACING SELF-GROWTH AND COMMUNITY

Motherhood today is a far cry from the idyllic images painted for us on our Instagram feeds. It's not a serene, monotone journey, but more like a crazy, emotional rollercoaster ride.

We are caught in the highs and lows of paradoxical emotions, battling the ever-looming "mom guilt" and trying to “enjoy every moment.” 🙄 What was once thought of as the epitome of a "good life" has evolved into a stressful mess. Why is this happening!? And how can we make it better?

Let's talk about the realities of modern motherhood, the myth of the maternal instinct, and how embracing self-growth and community could just be our ticket out of this chaos.

THE MYTH OF THE MATERNAL INSTINCT

Once upon a time, motherhood was seen as the ultimate path to happiness for women. It was believed that women possessed a natural maternal instinct that made parenting easy and immensely rewarding. However, today's reality couldn't be further from this ideal. Mothers face a myriad of emotions, from joy and gratitude to sadness and anxiety, all within the first 24 hours of welcoming a new baby into the world. The maternal ideal shatters for most women in those first moments, and they're left to grapple with a range of complex feelings that come up - especially shame.

UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONAL COMPLEXITY

Life is a tapestry of emotions, and many of the emotions we experience can be divided into two categories: positive and negative. Negative emotions like shame, anger, and fear prompt specific survival focused responses, limiting our thoughts and actions to mainly flight, fight or freeze. On the other hand, positive emotions like joy, gratitude, and awe don't trigger immediate action; instead, they broaden our perspective, opening us up to new ideas, concepts, and resources. This phenomenon is known as the "broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions" and was developed by Barbara Fredrickson in 1998.

SO, WHY DO THE FIRST DAYS OF MOTHERHOOD OFTEN FALL SHORT OF EXPECTATIONS?

The answer lies in the clash between personal experience and cultural norms. The cultural narrative of motherhood emphasizes its meaning and importance, but it also sets unattainable standards. Without the weight of cultural expectations, the well-being produced from our mother/child experience would be tremendous. Satisfaction and well-being are subjective, or shaped by individual perspectives, but when our experiences deviate from societal norms, our satisfaction can take a hit.

THE PURSUIT OF THE "GOOD LIFE"

The definition of a "good life" is a subject of debate among researchers and philosophers. Christopher Peterson (2006) argued that the most desirable state involves eudemonic harmony, or a balance between meaning, purpose, growth, and expansion. This balance can be achieved through self-actualization, self-reflection, and the discovery of positive character traits. And once we learn these skills, we aren't selfish; we use them to serve the greater community.

THE CHANGING FACE OF COMMUNITY

However, there's a notable difference between today's communities and those of previous generations: individualism. In the past, when the term "parent" primarily referred to mothers, there was a sense of community support. Neighbors, bus drivers, and extended families all looked out for children. Mothers had a robust network of help. But the rise of individualism has brought both freedom from gender-confining roles AND an increase in loneliness and depression rates (read more about that in Generations by Jean Twenge).

Maternal depression rates have risen, with one in ten children experiencing a depressed mother (Ertel, Rich-Edwards, & Koenen, 2011). A recent Pew Research poll found that 66% of mothers felt that parenting was "a lot harder" than they had anticipated. These factors, coupled other influences, have led to the lowest birth rate in US history.

(Read more about building community through simple gratitude events here.)

THE MYTH OF PARENTING PERFECTION

The message that parenting is "worth it" creates confusion when it doesn’t match reality, and it contributes to the perception that parenting is much harder than expected. By portraying the complete emotional landscape of parenting, we can acknowledge that “meaning” is derived not only from positive experiences but also from the negative ones. It was Peterson who points out that negative experiences act as signals, showing us the areas that need attention: "I'm angry when my kids don't listen because I feel unseen." But positive experiences motivate growth: "Hugging my kids after work calms me and provides the attention I need."

A GOOD LIFE ISN'T ALL GOOD

A good life doesn't have to be all good and there are certainly bad days. In fact, enriching experiences often stem from overcoming challenges. It's the negative experiences, just as much as the positive ones, that make parenting a source of well-being and life satisfaction. They inspire growth and self-reflection. With a shift towards more inclusive messaging and improved social support, future parents can step into the delivery room with a set of expectations that align with the realities they'll face. It's a journey filled with both ups and downs, guided by the compass of self-growth and supported by a caring community.

WHAT NOW?

The pursuit of a "good life" is a deeply personal journey. By acknowledging the diverse emotions that parenting can surface and shifting our societal narrative to one of inclusivity and support, we can navigate the challenges and joys of raising the next generation. It's time to embrace the full spectrum of parenting experiences, recognizing that a "good life" can be derived from both the positive and negative moments. In doing so, we can create a world we feel empowered to grow, learn, and thrive as we navigate the rewarding adventure of raising children.

- And don’t ever forget along that journey, you are a GoodAF Mom. - Stef

What to read next…

Gratitude Practice: Community Gratitude Events

Becoming a mother is a wild and life-altering experience. As moms, we navigate a whirlwind of emotions, from the overwhelming love for our little ones to the persistent worries about their safety and well-being. One thing we all want is for our children to grow up happy, healthy, and well-adjusted. But as the world changes around us, the way our children play and develop has evolved, often in ways that give us cause for concern.

The Decline of Unstructured Play

Unstructured playtime, where children use their imaginations and creativity to explore the world around them, has been on the decline in recent years (down by 50% in the last half decade!). Factors like fears, anxieties, and societal changes have led to the significant decrease and it has had a negative impact on our children's well-being.

Attachment theory, established by John Bowlby and Harry Harlow in the 1950s, emphasizes the basic needs for safety and exploration for children. It highlights that kids need to feel secure to play and explore the world. Now, to dig a bit deeper into what happened to play…the decline of unstructured play started before the current youth mental health crisis, during the '80s and '90s when kidnapping scares were widely publicized. Access to green spaces and varying crime levels across different socioeconomic groups further contributed to the decline.

As concerns for our children's safety have grown, parents from various economic backgrounds have responded differently. Some have enrolled their children in structured after-school programs, while others have chosen to keep them indoors (often relying on screen-time).

A Holistic Solution through Gratitude

I believe there's a simple solution to this, and it begins with sharing our thankfulness within our community. Practicing gratitude can have a big impact, like reducing our stress as parents, helping our kids become more independent and happier, and creating a safer and more trustworthy neighborhood for everyone.

History has shown that strong communities have a profound impact on individuals. Early research by Emile Durkheim revealed that individuals living alone or in less tight-knit communities had higher suicide rates. Recent studies, such as the work of James H. Fowler and Nicholas A. Christakis, have shown that when we're part of close-knit communities, we tend to be happier and have more vibrant social networks.

The Practice: Community Gratitude Events

Gratitude events that honor support people in our lives like librarians, crossing guards, and bus drivers remind us of how good our community already is. Gratitude can unite a community around a shared purpose, which can extend to advocating for systemic improvements, such as more green spaces and safe places for kids’ independent play.

When we all express gratitude together, it spreads a cultural message of kindness, understanding, and belonging. This makes kids feel safe and more supported by their community and helps them connect with their neighbors, which, in turn, builds the emotional strength they need for playing on their own.

The "Find, Bind, and Remind" Cycle

The cycle of "find, bind, and remind" promoted by gratitude also allows children to discover positive qualities in their playmates (finding), develop empathy (binding), and encourages them to spend more time together (reminding). Kids in the neighborhood form strong bonds, and that brings families closer as parents get to know each other through their children.

We all face safety issues and laws that make it challenging to give our children the freedom to explore as we once had. But collective bonding within a community is essential for enabling independent play to thrive. And while a neighborhood BBQ can serve as a community reminder, gratitude serves as a community binder. After all, when you know your neighbors are kind, caring and generous people, trust is built, and you are more likely to let your kids play on the sidewalk or walk to school or ride their bikes.

Give it a try

Give a gratitude event a try in your neighborhood and share your experiences with me! It can be as easy as hosting a little get-together in your garage, signing thank-you cards, and swapping stories while the kids draw with sidewalk chalk. It just amazing how by organizing a simple gratitude event that celebrate how connected our communities are, we can encourage independent play, too! Gratitude helps us build strong connections, no matter our background. So, embrace gratitude and strengthen your community bonds and you can ensure your kids grow up in a loving connected environment filled with independent play.

As moms we have the power to make a positive change in our communities and our kids' future. And despite what we have heard, it's not all bad out there! We can foster gratitude and work together to make sure our kids grow up in a world that treasures unstructured play, exploration, and the joy of making connections with others. And don’t you ever forget - you are a GoodAF Mom. - Stef

If you are ready for more community - join the monthly Gratitude Circle for moms.

Other Parenting with Gratitude™ Practices to try…

#MomLife Unfiltered: 5 Essential Ways to Keep It Real

“Gratitude serves as a foundation for nurturing connections with other parents and broadening our perspective. It empowers us to embrace our parenting mishaps as integral parts of our journeys, ensuring they do not overshadow our achievements.”

Have you ever found yourself scrolling social, comparing your parenting journey to those seemingly perfect families online? Or perhaps you've tried a 'quick and easy' toddler activity only to find it took hours to set up?

You're not alone. As mothers, we often wrestle with the pressure of high expectations, whether it's the quest for the perfect family photo or the desire for our little ones to embrace every meal we prepare. Just as Shakespeare once said, 'Expectations are the root of heartache.' These unattainable standards can affect how we view our success, self-worth, and even our daily interactions with our children — and they have a lot to do with just how loud our Mom Guilt can get.

The pursuit of high expectations and the desire for life to be a “certain way” are not new, and neither are their resulting negative consequences. They can lead to apathy, stress, and anxiety. These “high standards” can impose rules on our lives that feel so solid and unbreakable—until you start to notice they don’t have to be.

Here are five ways you can adjust your worldview and ground your expectations. Grounded expectations are not about letting things go or even going with the flow; instead, they are rooted in curiosity. What will happen when I try this new baby sleep routine? Or when I substitute sweet potatoes for carrots in this toddler meal? They allow room for growth through experience - and yes, even for mistakes.

Let’s get grounded:

1. Self-Awareness

Take the time to learn more about yourself as a parent. Explore your strengths and areas where you might need support. For example, you might discover that your patience and creativity make you excellent at finding fun toddler activities. Alternatively, you may realize that you thrive in a more flexible daily routine, and that's okay too. We are all unique parents, and what brings happiness and fulfillment can vary greatly from one parent to another. Getting to know yourself better is the first step in making parenting choices that align with your true desires and your child's needs.

2. Social Connection

Seek social connection and support from other parents. It's that reassuring feeling of 'Oh, it's not just me,' like when you discover that the struggles of motherhood are common to us all. This expanded viewpoint helps to balance and validate our personal experiences in realistic ways. For example, when you connect with other moms who have had success introducing toothbrushing, you can gain valuable insights that may help your personal toddler struggle. Through social support, you can establish parenting expectations grounded in real information (It took 6 months!), ultimately offering a more balanced approach to setting expectations for your family's future.

3. Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude is a valuable skill, and yes, it can be challenging in a world driven by constant comparison. But it is an essential component of grounded expectations in the world of parenting. Gratitude serves as a foundation for nurturing connections with other parents and broadening our perspective. It empowers us to embrace our parenting mishaps as integral parts of our journeys, ensuring they do not overshadow our achievements. This website is a treasure trove of gratitude ideas - jump in!

4. Cultivate Optimism

This is not about being happy all the time; it's about nurturing the inherent goodness in our parenting journey. Martin Seligman, often regarded as the father of positive psychology, encourages us to view our inner dialogue as a simple way to cultivate optimism as a parent. He emphasizes that 'changing the destructive things you say to yourself when you experience the setbacks that life deals all of us is the central skill of optimism.’

5. Practice Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness, which involves noticing without judgment, is essential for avoiding getting too wrapped up in what 'could have been.' Overcoming our natural thought patterns takes practice. Mindfulness can take the form of a quick breathing exercise or simply taking a moment to be present with your little one. The key is to leave all judgment on the sidelines.

Remember, in the messy journey of motherhood, embracing your authentic self and grounding your expectations can lead to a more joyful and fulfilling parenting experience for both you and your little ones. After all good enough is GoodAF in my book - Stef

What to read next…

Finding the Energy: Balance Amidst the Chaos

You know that feeling when you have SO much to do and NO energy to do it?

Or that rare feeling like: “Wow, I finally feel energized but have no idea where to start!?”

Mismatched moments like these make us feel unbalanced, stressed and overwhelmed.

And we when we have an inbalance in our lives we generally feel off. Look at the “Invisible Load” of motherhood — it doesn’t feel good like: “Wow! I’m a great Mom for doing all these things” (even though it should) because of how imbalanced the load is. This feeling of “too much to do and too little time to do it” is an emotional state that brings up negative emotions like shame (I should be able to do it all) and anxiety (how will I do it all and its neverending) and withdrawal (there is so much to do I am not going to do anything at all).

Somatic Mindfulness is a simple way of purposefully focusing our attention to discover our emotional state without getting into the emotions of it all — and then matching that energy level to an equally demanding task.

The skill at the root of somatic mindfulness is noticing.

Yep, just paying attention. Now that feels doable doesn’t it? And we can break it down to something even more simple. Like a sort of somatic self-care - or paying attention to the state of our body. How our body feels can be an basic gateway to a broader awareness of our state — or how we feel emotionally, physically and mentally in the moment. Directing our attention to rest on our body is the “somatic” peice. It takes thinking out of the equation and only focuses on sensations in the body. It takes a little practice because our bodies throw up road blocks, in simalar ways that our minds distract us with planning and examining when we self-reflect. Just keep that in mind!

Let’s use an example of filling the dishwasher after dinner. While on the surface this may seem like a simple task, but after the juggernaut that is cooking dinner for a household of small hangry people who don’t really enjoy your cooking, you’re exhausted. Your energy level is low. However your partner is working late and the dishes have to get done, so you put a movie on for the kids, and dig in.

The sink is full, you will probably have to run the machine in the AM again just to catch up. As you start to load the dishes your youngest comes in complaining about her brother sitting in her couch seat, so you stop to deal with the argument. (Wet hands and all.) You’re running out of patience and the overwhelming emotions you usually have a handle on are starting to come to the surface…not your best work with the kids - but you’re back to the dishes. Trying to be fast, you break a plate on the way to putting it in the dishwasher. This is the last straw. And you begin to cry. It’s just too much. What should you do now?

This is where somatic mindfulness can step in. Noticing the state of your body is less cognitively taxing than stopping and examining why you are crying - that’s way more complex and takes a lot more time and energy. Could you just for a moment shut off the water, and stand there among the broken chards of ceramic and feel into your body? When you do this it will almost feel like gift, the gift of attention. A simple example of a somatic exercise is a body scan but you don’t even need to do that in this situation. Just stop, breath and feel. What does it feel like in your chest, your arms, your face, behind your eyes? How are you holding your hands?

This curious looking requires that you drop any opinions. Nothing that your body is doing is right or wrong - it just is.

This is mindfulness in action - the looking around without judgement. Now once you have taken the moment, go ahead and sweep up the broken plate pieces. Check on the kids and then it’s time to take a moment to relfect. What is your body telling you? Is this the right time to be taking on this task? How much energy does your body have to offer? How much energy does the task demand? (Keep in mind you are also parenting at the same time.) If you body is tight and your heart rate elevated this may be a sign that you need a reset - a break mama - and how long that break will be depends on how tight and stressed your body is and how much energy the task you want to finish requires. It may not be a break that you need either, it could mean a lot of things like you need to put music on or laugh a little. You will build up your toolkit over time as you learn more about what works for you.

When we do this consistently we get to know the cues our bodies provide us at every stage of our routine (including before we break the plate). Maybe tonight was a night where you needed to sit on the couch with the kids for 10 minutes in between the dinner chaos and the clean up one. Or maybe if you checked in with your body and you found your energy levels were still pretty good, maybe tonight was the night that you could handle teaching your oldest to help you load the dishwasher.

Practicing mindfulness is not only about noticing our habitual thought patterns or emotional reactions. It is also noticing our somatic state or what messages our bodies are trying to share. And noticing them with kindness and compassion will lead to us to our next steps no matter the state we are in. With this knowledge we can balance our tasks with the energy we have available to us and even maybe get more done - whether that’s the dishes or self-care.

No matter where you find your balance, don’t ever forget you are a GoodAF mom. - Stef

What to read next…

World Gratitude Day: Family Activites

Who will you thank this year on World Gratitude Day?

We can reserve each September as a time to share appreciation and thanks since World Gratitude Day happens every year!

This is great because we need a yearly reminder to thank all the people who support us, from caregivers to UPS drivers - instead of the more hectic, holiday-focused November Thanksgiving.

Take the time to offer your gratitude in the form of eye contact, a friendly thank you and well wishes, or a letter from the family for someone extra special.

Here are a few kid-approved ideas for adding gratitude to your September dinner table as well.

And don’t forget, you are a GoodAF Mom — Stef

How to Stay Grounded Amidst Parenting Chaos

Cultivating Equanimity: Finding Emotional Groundedness Amidst the Chaos

Understanding Equanimity: The Key to Overcoming Overwhelm and Anxiety

Equanimity, a word not often heard in everyday conversation, is simply learning the skills of emotional groundedness and non-reactivity. Cultivating equanimity can be a transformative practice in the whirlwind of motherhood and its overwhelming moments. In this blog post, I will get into the concept of equanimity, explore its relevance to motherhood, and uncover practical strategies for embracing it amidst the chaos. Let’s learn more about equanimity by understanding what it is not. We can learn to navigate the storms of motherhood with grace, resilience, and a sense of calm if we also understand the different states of overwhelm many mothers experience.

Motherhood presents us with two distinct forms of overwhelm. The first pops up when we feel saturated and like we have NO choices. We get caught in a sensory overload or a whirlwind of emotions. We freeze, feel stuck, and powerless. The second type emerges from uncertainty and anxiety, where our minds fill the void of "not knowing" with so many horrible possibilities. We spin our wheels, consumed by worry and indecision. Both forms of overwhelm can leave us feeling trapped and emotionally drained.

Weathering the Storm: Equanimity as a Powerful Tool for Stress Management

Motherhood, particularly in the first five years, is filled with constant stress activation. As stress researcher Dr. Elissa Epel emphasizes in her book, "The Stress Prescription," everyone has a unique stress starting baseline. This “baseline” determines how much additional stress we can handle. When our baseline is already high due to the challenges of motherhood, unexpected events (insert toddler playing in the toilet) can cause it to spike even higher. And since we carry a higher baseline during this part of our lives, developing equanimity becomes essential for maintaining balance amidst the chaos.

Imagine motherhood as a house you've built on a beautiful piece of land. The weather that comes and goes represents the ever-changing nature of children—sometimes sunny, other times stormy. Some days are delightful, while others bring destruction and chaos. However, much like the weather, we cannot control our children's behavior entirely. Instead, we must focus on responding to the storms they bring and finding equanimity in the face of challenging moments.

Building Equanimity: Practices for Grounding and Regulating

To develop equanimity, it is essential to engage in grounding/mindfulness practices regularly. These practices allow us to find emotional stability amidst the storm. The one I always start with is getting outside to take a walk and deliberately noticing the awe-inspiring elements of my surroundings. A simple walk around the block, focusing on gratitude for our community, can bring a sense of calm to both ourselves and the toddler will bring along.

Interacting with pets is another great source of grounding and regulation. If they let you, taking the time to brush the family dog or engaging in playtime with cats helps anchor us in the present moment. Animals possess a remarkable ability to offer comfort and regulation, even during chaotic times.

Unveiling the Power of Equanimity: How Mindfulness Transforms Parenting

Ok, and finally, utilizing moments of calm and sunshine to practice mindfulness allows us to experience the present moment fully. A body scan is a simple practice where we explore each part of our bodies while expressing gratitude for their contributions to our well-being. It can be done anywhere you find yourself sitting. You can also practice mindfulness by active listening. While your preschooler tells you his story for the nth time, stay in the present moment, notice your thoughts, and let them pass. Allow your attention to rest completely on the content of their story. Ask questions, and engage only when they finish their run-on sentences.

These seemingly simple grounding exercises lay the foundation for cultivating equanimity. And they can be practiced when things are GOOD, not out of control.

Empowering Yourself with Equanimity: Cultivating Emotional Strength and Perspective

It is important to remember that equanimity does not overwrite or replace big emotions or challenging situations. Instead, it allows us to navigate them confidently, free from excessive reactivity or resistance (even if it’s just 10% less reactivity). By embracing equanimity, we acknowledge that stressors come from outside of us, but trigger internal responses. Cultivating this relationship with stressors empowers us to respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively.

Embracing Grace and Equanimity: Finding Peace amidst the Challenges of Motherhood

As mothers, we often blame ourselves for the chaos and self-doubt that can accompany parenting. However, it is important to recognize that these challenges are not our fault. Embracing equanimity means offering ourselves grace and accepting the realities of motherhood without judgment. Through this self-compassionate lens, we can find peace within the storm.

In the journey of motherhood, cultivating equanimity is a valuable practice that allows us to weather ups and downs with grace, resilience, and calm. By differentiating between overwhelming states and the groundedness of equanimity, we can develop strategies to find emotional stability amidst the chaos. Remember, even with all the messiness and challenges, you are a GoodAF Mom. - Stef

What to read next..

Why Most Parenting Advice Doesn't Work.

Parenting can be a real sh*&show, with ups and downs, challenges, and moments of sheer joy. And our commitment to becoming “better” parents often motivates us to look to books, experts, and well-meaning advice from family and friends. But have you ever wondered why some of that advice feels like it doesn’t fit your child (or your patience level)? And it just leaves you feeling frustrated and like a failure? Well, you’re not alone. We’re gonna talk about the reasons why common parenting advice seems like a setup and uncover a few hidden truths that can transform your approach to this thing we call “motherhood.”

The Cycle of Shame and Blame

One of the main reasons most parenting advice fails is that it’s written for a broad audience. And while inclusivity is important, a generalized approach can overlook where we are in our self-healing journey and the emotional complexity we experience as mothers. For example, when we're triggered by our children's behavior and asked to “remain calm”, for some of us, that can feel impossible. The resulting onslaught of shame and blame (aka Mom Guilt) feeds an ongoing cycle: we feel small, flawed, and never good enough. Recognizing that shame is a powerful emotion, as highlighted by Brené Brown, allows us to approach parenting with greater self-compassion and understanding.

“Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.” - Brené Brown

Understanding Inner Motivation

Examining our inner motivations is crucial to navigating the complicated task of modern parenting. Are we striving to be more present parents and foster deeper connections with our children, or are we solely focused on changing their behavior? Uncovering your true intentions will help match your daily actions and expectations with what truly matters to you and your children. For instance, if we find ourselves hating to repeat instructions, that may come from feeling unheard and unimportant. And if we look deeper, we might discover that this is a wound from our own childhood that we unintentionally bring into our parenting. In reality, many children respond to different methods of instruction, but if our wounds bring us directly to frustration, we will never have the chance to access our creativity and curiosity about our children’s motivations.

The Complexity of Communication

And when it comes to communication and getting our children to listen, it's essential to consider their unique temperaments and needs. What works for one child may not work for another. For example, expecting an immediate response from a child deep in imaginative play might require something different than simply asking. Understanding that some children respond better to touch or gentle reminders allows us to adapt our communication styles and build stronger connections with them.

The Power of Self-Work

Parenting advice can be valuable, but it becomes truly effective when combined with self-work. Each child is unique, and so are you. Embracing and honoring everyone’s uniqueness, rather than trying to fit it all into a mold of generalized parenting “hacks,” can be crucial. Engaging in self-reflection, gratitude practices, mindfulness, therapy, and empathy towards ourselves and our children creates a nice foundation for THEN implementing expert advice with much better chances for success.

“Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning and purpose to our lives.” - Brené Brown

Embracing your inner GoodAF Mom

To be the best mom we can be, it's important to remember that we are already GoodAF. Yes you are worthy of the title even if you are imperfect — in fact, embracing our imperfections is key to building healthy relationships with our children. The internal dialogue and expectations we place on ourselves often complicate our interactions more than the actual situations themselves. By prioritizing our own well-being and investing in self-work, we can approach parenting from a place of authenticity, empathy, and love.

While parenting advice can provide guidance and insights, it's essential to recognize its limitations. Honoring our emotional journeys, the individuality of our children, and the need for personal growth enables us to navigate motherhood with greater grace and equanimity. By embracing our GoodAF Mom intentions and combining self-work with expert advice, we can create a nurturing environment that celebrates our children's unique strengths and honors their overall well-being.

Remember, you are a GoodAF mom, capable of navigating this beautiful and chaotic journey just with the wisdom of your heart alone. - Stef

Where should my 2-year-old sleep and other questions...

I am going to answer a few questions over the coming month about how to handle common Childhood Sleep problems.

• Where should a 2-year-old sleep?

• If your 4-year-old wakes over and over in the middle of the night, what should you do?

• If your 6-year-old still wets the bed, is that OK?

This week it’s: Where should a 2-year-old sleep?

OK, so if you have this question, your toddler is probably not sleeping where you’d like them to, right? Well, before I even get to the advice I have as a long-time professional nanny, I want to say that kids’ sleeping arrangements vary depending on a ton of factors, including cultural practices, individual preferences, and safety considerations. The arrangement should not depend on what society says you should do or what your mother-in-law thinks is right or “normal.” If you can, start this process by talking to your partner and coming up with a plan that feels best for you and your family as a whole.

Here are some common options for a 2-year-old's sleeping arrangement:

(I also made you a Pinterest Board of options if you are a visual learner - follow me here)

• A Toddler-Sized Bed: Many parents transition their 2-year-olds from cribs to toddler beds at this age because many kids start to climb out or are ready to learn more independent skills. A toddler-sized bed is specifically designed for toddlers and typically features safety sides to prevent falls or you can add your own rail. Toddler beds provide a sense of independence while maintaining a secure sleeping environment. Cons to this choice are they are free to roam their room, which means if you haven’t babyproofed, you will need to.

• A Shared Bed: Some families choose to co-sleep with their toddlers, allowing the family to sleep in the same bed. The pros to co-sleeping are a sense of closeness and it does help to make nighttime parenting easier, particularly for kids who wake up a lot or are still breastfeeding. Cons to co-sleeping at 2 years old are generally around space issues and parental privacy (and, to be honest, whether or not you are “touched out” because you spend the entire daytime with your child too).

• Room Sharing: Another option is to have your 2-year-old sleep in the same room as you but in a separate bed. Pros: Room sharing promotes a feeling of security for more sensitive temperaments and allows you to respond quickly to your child's needs if they wake in the night. Cons to this option are if you have a child who wants to sleep in your bed, they will end up there most nights.

• Independent Room: If you do not want to bed share, then the option is to have them sleep in their own room. This can promote a sense of independence and provide everyone with an environment for uninterrupted sleep. I strongly suggest minimizing toy options to a few they like, and un-rippable books, and, of course, childproof. After that, it’s up to you to choose between a toddler bed or a twin mattress on the floor.

• Independent Room Bed-Share: Finally, you can set up their room as stated above but provide a mattress on the floor big enough for you both. So if you like the pros of co-sleeping but are looking for a little privacy and alone time, this option offers the ability to tag-team with your partner every few nights and still be comfortable.

In the end, the choice of where a 2-year-old should sleep depends on what you want. Do you want to sleep with your child each night? Do you want to put them to bed and then have a night on your own? Do you have other kids who have different needs? Etc.

Also, it’s important to state that teaching a child to fall asleep independently can be taught using a shared bed and/or in their own room. To do this, you need to create a sleep environment that supports healthy sleep habits (and is safe), and then you need a bedtime routine and behavior plan. Consulting with your pediatrician or a sleep consultant can really help when it comes to bedtime battles.

Here are some experts and references that you can consult for further info:

• First of all, try my book: The Middle of the Night Book, if you have a child who fights sleep or wakes in the middle of the night. The book uses a body-scan meditation to help your child notice their sleepiness, and it’s also a great book to wind down with for parents.

• American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP): The AAP provides guidelines and recommendations on various aspects of child health, including sleep. Their website offers resources on safe sleep practices and age-appropriate sleeping arrangements for toddlers. You can visit their official website at www.aap.org.

• Dr. Jodi Mindell: Dr. Jodi Mindell is an OG pediatric sleep expert and author of the book "Sleeping Through the Night: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep." Her work focuses on understanding and improving sleep patterns in children of different ages, including toddlers.

• National Sleep Foundation (NSF): The NSF is a nonprofit organization that promotes healthy sleep and provides information on sleep-related topics. They offer resources on sleep guidelines for different age groups, including toddlers. Visit their website at www.sleepfoundation.org

• Sleep Consultants: Experts like these can provide personalized plans tailored to your child's specific needs and circumstances. These professionals have expertise in child development and can offer practical advice on sleep routines and appropriate sleeping arrangements for 2-year-olds. My recommendation is Mindful Sleep.

  Remember always to consider your child's unique personality and your own needs when deciding this all. And no matter what you choose (and whether it works or not), you are a GoodAF Mom! - Stef

The Middle of the Night Book

$10.95

Quantity:

Add To Cart

A Letter to the Lonely Mom

To the mom who feels alone:

Hey Mama,

I hope this letter finds you surrounded by people you love (though I understand that motherhood can sometimes leave us feeling isolated and disengaged even when children are all around.)

I wanted to remind you that you deserve Joy. I know that joy can seem like the farthest thing from your grasp when your world feels heavy and you're tired as F$%& ALL the time. Like it's hiding beneath a mountain of diapers, sleepless nights, and endless tasks of motherhood, trust me. I get it. But here's the thing: Joy doesn't have to be an extra or a luxury reserved for a distant future. It can be right here, right now, within your reach. And that's exactly why I wrote this letter.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Fair Play + Unicorn Space (@fairplaylife)

First and foremost, it's okay to feel overwhelmed, burned out, and alone. Motherhood is a journey filled with ups and downs, and it's natural to have moments of doubt or isolation, not to mention society has high expectations of us. But please remember, you are doing an incredible job, and you are a GoodAF Mom.

Now, let's talk about connection as a source for Joy.

Building connections with fellow moms can be a game-changer. When all the tasks of motherhood take up your time, the joy found in friendship may feel like an extra. Seek out local mom groups, parenting classes, or online communities where you can also meet other moms in the grips of chaos. Share your stories, ask for advice, and be open to offering support to others. Sometimes, all it takes is one genuine connection to boost your mood and remind you that you are not alone on this journey.

Sharing our common humanity is a powerful tool that many of us overlook.

Of course, in addition to seeking connections, I encourage you to explore the power of gratitude. Gratitude can act as a nightlight that guides us through our darker moments, legos on the floor and all. Take a few moments each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for. They can be moments of joy in connection, acts of kindness from others, or even the strength you find within yourself. Cultivating gratitude helps shift our perspective and allows us to find beauty in the everyday moments of motherhood.

Maybe you could start a gratitude journal (or find a daily gratitude practice that works for you) where you can reflect on the things you are thankful for each day. This practice helps you focus on the positive aspects of your life and can help you remember what you have and do is enough, no matter how challenging things may seem.

You choose your village.

Remember, it's okay to ask for help. Reach out to friends, family, or professionals who can provide support and lend a listening ear. You deserve a support system that understands and empathizes with what you're going through. Don't hesitate to lean on them during moments when you need a little extra support.

Choose Yourself First

And lastly, be gentle with yourself. Motherhood is filled with constant learning, growth, and love. Embrace the beautiful chaos as much as you can, and know that you are enough and enough is GoodAF. You are never a failure in your children's eyes, and your love and presence make a world of difference.

Sending you strength, love, and the assurance that you are never alone. Together, we can find our people, cultivate gratitude, and navigate the joys and challenges of motherhood.

Don’t ever forget you are a GoodAF Mom - Stef

Blank Memories: Embracing Unforgettable Moments

Have you heard about the Taylor Swift concert amnesia that's been going around? It's pretty wild! You spend way more than you should on ticket and are so excited for what everyone is calling a once-in-a-lifetime experience. You're expecting to remember this forever, but when you finally get home, you realize you can't remember a single thing. Can you believe it? You invested your time, money, and energy into this experience, and now it feels like a blur — OMG.

Psychologists are saying this post-concert amnesia is quite normal. It happens when we go through intense experiences filled with heightened emotions. And you know what? It got me thinking about something a bit hazy in my own memory: the newborn weeks. Remember those? But really — how much of it do you really remember? I find it fascinating to compare the two because, like with the concerts, the newborn years were a rollercoaster of emotions. It was a whirlwind, from stress and exhaustion to moments of pure euphoria and gratitude.

Now, I wish we could go through the newborn years multiple times, like attending different concerts (do I?). But here's the thing: we can apply something from the concert experience to help us cherish those intense moments in parenthood. Studies have shown that accumulating stuff doesn't bring us lasting happiness. It's the experiences that truly enrich our lives. And you know what's amazing about experiences? It's not just about the moment itself; it's also about the anticipation and the memories we create.

Let me share something I learned from Dr. Laurie Santos, a cognitive scientist and researcher on happiness. She explains that experiences bring us joy because we savor them before and after they happen. It's like having a delicious appetizer and a satisfying dessert surrounding the main course of the experience. We look forward to the event, talk about it with excitement, and plan what we'll wear, who we'll go with, and what songs might be played - that’s the pre-savoring. And afterward, we relish in the memories, sharing stories and discoveries we made during that time - that’s the post-savoring.

So, when I think about the Taylor Swift concert amnesia or even the hazy memories from my newborn’s first months, I realize it's not about recalling every little detail. It's about treasuring the entire journey. Sure, you may not remember the exact songs Taylor Swift performed but think about all the moments leading up to the concert. The anticipation, the conversations with friends, and the excitement of picking out your outfit. Those are the moments that matter.

And yes, when it comes to the newborn years, we may forget some specifics, but we remember the love, the tiny outfits, and the feeling of our little ones moving inside us. It's the pre-savoring and post-savoring that truly make an experience meaningful.

If you want to dive deeper into the practice of deliberate savoring as a form of gratitude, I highly recommend checking out this link. You can also listen to the podcast episode on savoring to explore how it can enhance your well-being.

So, Mama, remember that it's the journey that counts, whether you're attending a graduation, visiting Disneyland with your family, or simply cherishing the everyday moments of parenthood. Embrace the pre-savoring, savor the experience itself, and relish in the memories afterward. That's where true well-being is. And even if you forget some of it all, you are still a GoodAF Mom - Stef

Controlled by Mom Guilt

The Overwhelming Weight of Mom Guilt

Mom Guilt takes control of our thoughts and emotions, making us feel like we can never measure up as mothers. It fills us with self-doubt, comparisons, and an unending cycle of questioning our every decision. But what if there was a way to break free from the suffocating grip of Mom Guilt? I’m going to share how a gratitude practice can help you regain control over your inner dialogue, shift your perspectives, and enjoy motherhood's imperfect journey—because that’s what it did for me.

the True Effects of Mom Guilt

Mom Guilt manifests in various ways, leaving us feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, and constantly striving for unattainable perfection. It tricks us into believing that we can never get it right, that we're failing our kids, and that parenting is an unwinnable battle. The constant inner dialogue of what we could have done differently haunts our alone time, while other moms' seeming happiness and success add to our guilt.

Navigating Society's Expectations: The Battle Against Mom Guilt

Society's unfair expectations, lack of social support, partners who don't fully understand the demands of parenting, and family members' selective memories of their own experiences all contribute to the overwhelming burden of Mom Guilt.

Add to that, the pervasive nature of social media and influencer culture fuels our comparisons and self-doubt, making our guilt and feelings of inadequacy louder.

Moments that Trigger Mom Guilt: Learning from Mistakes

Mom Guilt strikes during moments of frustration, mistakes, and when we just don’t feel good enough. Whether it's losing our temper, trying a new parenting trick that doesn't work, observing other kids' different behaviors, or simply feeling too exhausted to meet every demand, Mom Guilt sneaks in, intensifying our negative emotions. Have you ever fantasized about getting sick solely for the sake of a break? Yeah, me too, which further fueled my guilt.

The Burden of Mom Guilt: Untangling Guilt and Shame

Carrying the weight of Mom Guilt wears us down. It messes with our emotional well-being. Guilt and shame become entangled, causing us to constantly second-guess ourselves and our behavior. We’re super hard on ourselves, we lose perspective and forget self-compassion!

Bedtime becomes a time of reflection filled with a highlight real of negative thoughts, which let’s face it, we actively avoid by scrolling on our phones or turning to coping mechanisms like drinking or online shopping (been there.)

From Guilt to Gratitude: Transforming your Motherhood

Embracing gratitude is the key to regaining control over our thoughts and freeing ourselves from the rumination of Mom Guilt. When we practice gratitude, our perspective widens, allowing us to see beyond our mistakes and focus on the good in our lives. It helps us appreciate the help and love we receive from other people, recognizing they matter to our lives. We can find moments of joy and contentment by slowing down and choosing our mindset, even when things don't go perfectly. Gratitude reminds us that this all is a precious gift, and even our imperfect parenting is worthy of appreciation.

Reclaiming Control: Practicing Gratitude for Mom Well-Being

We can overcome Mom Guilt and embrace gratitude with a few practical ideas! Instead of striving for perfection, we can adopt a mantra that embraces motherhood as a learning process: "I'm new at this. I don't have to be perfect to be a good mom."

Practicing gratitude one day a week or writing a thank you letter to ourselves each month can help us cultivate a deeper sense of appreciation and self-love. And we can incorporate self-compassion practices into our day - maybe at bedtime? This will allow us to offer kindness and understanding to ourselves.

If you are looking for a gratitude practice that feels just right for you, try my 10-week “How To” email series, where you will be introduced to a new practice each week. And never forget you are a GoodAF Mom. - Stef

p.s. It never hurts to be mindful of our coping mechanisms and try to actively replace negative habits with positive ones, such as unfollowing accounts of people who run us the wrong way or make us feel that familiar ugh I want my life to be like that feeling or drinking a bubbly water before our glass of wine, or saving our scrolling for nap time and read before bed instead. If you want to work on these and more I would suggest the book Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg.

Avoiding Summer Burnout

A blog post for Type A moms.

this is a repost I do each year in June (I wrote this in 2022).

Are you a planner? Do you plan mainly to avoid future conflict, complaining, arguments, and your own yelling? Well, if you do, welcome to the Type A mom club - I’m the president.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Parent Differently with Gratitude (@parent_differently)

Simplify Summer Planning: The Ultimate Bucket List and Routine Guide for Type-A Moms

I have two kids (11 and 14) and what I have learned over a decade of parenting is: summers can suck - mainly, the life out of you. When you are a Type A mom you tend to have an inner critic who will not let you rest, and the summer can be a nightmare. Planning, keeping busy, and making sure to avoid those nasty summer words….”Mom…I’m bored!” = I’m exhausted by day 5.

Even though I am a writer, I typically go full SAHM in the summer — but not without a schedule — enter my trusty planning sheets and checklists — and lists of lists!

On the walls of the kitchen, I post the daily schedule, lists of things to do outside, one with the apps they are allowed to play and things to do when they are bored, and on and on we go.

Creating a Summer Schedule: Balancing Fun and Self-Care for Type-A Moms

And this works for our family. My kids are used to it, and the predictability of routine emotionally regulates me. The issue is…for many years, I forget to include myself in all the planning. Of course, we had fun — kids are fun in the summer — but I didn’t do the things I wanted to do, like go to the farmer’s market or to a tag sale or two, and I would end the summer with regrets.

And so I stopped doing that! For the past few years, I have printed out all our planning sheets and filled them out TOO. After all, I definitely have a summer bucket list. There are things that I want to do each week that are non-negotiables (I’m looking at you, froyo), and there are daily routines that are important to me.

This is how I plan our summers

Download the planning sheet here. The whole family fills out individual sheets — and my husband (since he works full time) fills out just the Bucket List section, which makes for some fun weekends.

1. List your Bucket List items.

2. List your weekly fun ideas.

3. List your daily non-negotiables

Next, organize the information. Your kids are going to come up with insane ideas on these planning sheets - that’s ok! What you want to do is look for similar themes among the insanity. Maybe everyone wants to do some water play every week - fine, it doesn’t have to be the pool or beach, but water play becomes a weekly theme.

The Bucket List gets a good look over, and then the reasonable and achievable things go onto one master list that you can print and hang up.

The Weekly Ideas go onto a weekly routine sheet or straight onto your digital calendar - Wednesdays are pool days, and Fridays are Froyo.

Then I make a daily schedule with the remaining non-negotiables - and this is where taking care of yourself comes in.

Screen Time vs. Me Time: Crafting a Daily Schedule that Works for Type-A Moms

My kids always want millions of hours of screen time - they’re preteens, I get it. I want Alone Time, Meditation Time, Journaling Time, and Writing Time - these are my things - you have your things. These two “wants” — screen time and my time — actually coincide. And so when you make your daily schedule - screen time is not cleaning time; it’s your time. Maybe they have 30 minutes to watch TV in the morning - that means you can journal or walk outside for 30 minutes.

Another non-negotiable for me during the summer is reading/downtime after big outings. And kids need this too. I always include 60 minutes of independent bedroom quiet time on my daily schedule. Even for kids that are 3 or 5 years old, you can shrink that down to 30 or 40 minutes, but everyone gets a break from one another to recharge and rest — for the good of our sanity.

Summer Cleaning Hacks: Lowering Expectations and Teaching Kids Responsibility

Then there’s the cleaning. Well, during the summer:

1. I lower my expectations

2. I use this time to teach my kids how to clean.

I am not going to use up precious screen time cleaning up clutter or emptying the dishwasher or the beach bag. I’d much rather do that while my kids are outside or playing together in the next room - or even better - clean when my partner gets home and let him take on the evening’s entertainment.

Making the Most of Summer Break = Balance Family Activities and Personal Interests

Summer Break is not a break - but it can be fun if you do the things you like to do too. So make sure you are included in the planning - and the photos too!

If you don’t hear from me for a while, it’s because I am hitting the farmer’s market and making my own jam. - Stef

Cracking the Gratitude Code: A No-BS Guide for Type-A Moms

The Gratitude Paradox

Are you tired of starting something new, like a gratitude practice, but never sticking with it? OK, whether you identify as a Type A Mom or not, this blog post is for you. So, you've decided to jump on the gratitude train. You grabbed a cute journal, had one good day of using it, and then life happened. Sound familiar? Don't worry because today, we are tackling the wild world of motivation.

Motivation: The Real Deal

“There are really three key questions in terms of the intrinsic values in how we go about the process of going about accomplishing things.

One - Do we make efforts, sincere efforts along the way? Do we wake up, do we do a good day's worth of work, or are we kind of slackers, procrastinators, and we just don't work very hard at it? Do you make real efforts?

Second - Do you bring your whole heart to it? Are you good-hearted about it? Are you trying to make something better rather than worse? Do you come from love deep down inside or something close to it? Good-heartedness.

And third - Do you learn along the way? Do you have a learning curve? Do you grow from your mistakes? Do you grow from your successes?”

- Dr. Rick Hanson from the Being Well podcast

When it comes to motivation, there are two types: intrinsic and extrinsic.

Intrinsic motivation is all about your own deep desires and beliefs. You know, that fire 🔥 in your belly that gets you going. On the other hand, extrinsic motivation is the stuff that comes from outside—rewards, praise, cultural expectations, your mom on the phone 😂. As your friendly gratitude-whisperer, I'm here to help with the paradox of wanting to start but losing your motivation. And the first way to do this is to check and make sure it's your fire in YOUR belly, not mine or your mom’s or some cookie-cutter version of “wellness” that brings you to the practice of thankfulness and appreciation.

Unveiling the Gratitude Equation

On this blog, I talk a lot about unlocking the power of a daily gratitude practice. I’ve seen the magic, it can work, and I want to offer you a bunch of ways to try it out — so that you can make it a habit too. But here's the deal: I can’t preach at you or tell you what you "should" do. You gotta want this for yourself and believe you are good enough to make the investment in. If you believe that you are truly GoodAF, taking the next steps will be much easier, especially if they don’t go the way you planned.

And that uncertainty is why I offer you an equation you can customize for this new method: The Parenting with Gratitude™ Equation: Intention + Attention + Action + Repetition = Results you can see and feel.

Closing the Gap: Intention vs. Action

Let's address another elephant in the room—the Intention-Action Gap. This is where our well-intentioned plans (hopefully intrinsically motivated) collide with reality, and boy, can it be a bumpy ride. So, you've got all the right motivations and intentions…but following through? 😬 That’s where we can get lost. Trust me, there's a mountain of books on how to learn a new habit. We're gonna revamp your gratitude game and close the Intention Action Gap simply by reminding ourselves what gratitude in action feels like.

Dusting Off the Gratitude Archives

Get ready to dig deep into the vault. It's time to resurrect those old gratitude lists and reminisce about the good ol' days. Whether you've filled ten journals or scribbled a couple of entries in the past three months, it doesn't matter. We're gonna make it work. And here's a secret—I don't remember half the stuff I've written either. It's like uncovering buried treasure, I tell ya! Once you have your old journals or maybe a gratitude letter you never sent in hand, we are ready.

Reignite the Spark: Reflecting on Past Gratitude

Grab a pen and paper, mama. We're diving into some serious—but simple—reflection here. Take five minutes to soak in those words you wrote. Remember our savoring practice? Use it like a pro. Write down why you're doing this gratitude thing for yourself. How do you feel when you read your old appreciation? Get descriptive, get cheesy, and get real. And while you're at it, picture that GoodAF mom staring back at you from the pages.

Building Your Bridge to Consistency

Alright, now we're cooking. Now use the equation and fill it in. With your intentions, attention, and all those feelings in mind, you're ready to bridge that Intention-Action Gap. You've got the potential for gratitude brewing inside you, and it's time to find the practice that fits your current mom chapter. Head over to the Practice Hub here (or tap that hamburger icon on your phone), and explore your next steps. -Stef

Understanding Parenting Self-Doubt with Dr. Laura Froyen

podcast Gues

Dr.Laura Froyen

Mom, Child Development Expert, POdcaster

Are you struggling with negative thoughts that take a toll on your mental health as a mother?

Laura and I discuss simple ways to gain valuable space from habitual, obsessive, and intrusive thoughts (listen to the full episode below). We suffer from all types of different thinking patterns as humans. And when you are under the stress of parenthood, these patterns can swing more to the negative than they may have in the past.

Every few episodes, I invite a guest to answer a reader’s question - do you have one? Fill out the form below, and I will bring in an expert to answer it.

OUR QUESTION TODAY WAS THE FOLLOWING:

Why am I always failing My Children?

Here are some takeaways from our conversation…

Sometimes our thoughts can seem true - maybe like: our kid's behavior reflects how “good” or “bad” of a parent we may be. Read more below as we talk about temperament, personality, and our innocent search for worthiness within our children’s childhoods.

I shared with Laura that I had recently had a tough morning that ended in a Mom Trantrum (I wrote more about it here), and the only thing that I could think of for the next day or so is, Why am I failing them!? It was such a believable thought because my children’s behavior was bad; therefore, I was bad or failing them somehow, like there was proof of my failure in their horrible behavior.

Dr.Laura: We think (our habitual bad mom thoughts) are supported. We look at our kids behavior and take it as evidence that supports our negative or disordered thinking. Absolutely yeah. Okay so first of all I just want to send you a little bit of love and compassion to you. I mean I think we've all had those moments and I don't think you can do this work of trying to parent differently without having that fear be there. It's there because if it wasn't this wouldn't matter so much to us. Taking that as evidence you could also take the fact that thought is there as evidence that you actually do care and you're actually doing something right.

I also think it's really important that when those thoughts come out, those are deeply vulnerable thoughts and for me when I would have had thoughts like that in the past and expressed sadness a pain or worry to my parents I would have gotten dismissed as a young child and so I find that it's really important for me now as an adult when those vulnerable thoughts and worries come up that I don't perpetuate that dismissal on myself.

So how do we separate our parenting outcomes and our child’s behavior? They seem so intertwined.

Dr.Laura: We do use our kids’ behavior as evidence for our success in parenting and it's one of the biggest mistakes that you can make. One thing that can be really helpful when it comes to restructuring and reorganizing thoughts is to think about the validity of the evidence that we're using to support them. It’s so important to remember that just like for us, the knowing of the right thing to do and the being able to do the right thing are two separate things. They're paralleled like train tracks. They don't necessarily intersect. They run next to each other.

The same is true for kids and so all of our parenting for the most part is teaching your children how to know what the right thing to do is — but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're always going to be able to do the right thing because behavior is not just driven by what they know. Behavior is driven by impulses by executive functioning, cognitive and brain development. There's so much that goes into a child's behavior at any given moment: Have they eaten? Did they sleep, or did they have a bad dream? Did they get in a fight with a friend? You know, or all those things combined — just like they do for us and so using our kids behavior at a birthday party to mean something about our parenting, there's a big disconnect there.

I see the disconnect because I have two children with two different personalities, and although sometimes they do act similarly they are their own people. And even though they are growing up in the same house with the same parents, they don’t act the same. Their behavior is different.

Dr.Laura: And they were also born with a temperament and have a personality that's theirs - and you do too. There’s something called Goodness of Fit at play as well here. There will be greater harmony between parents and children when either those temperaments are a natural fit for each other or the parent is able to see the child's temperament and make adjustments, to kind of support them. So that ‘goodness of fit’ piece is there and then acknowledging that there will be children and parents who have temperaments for whom they are is there's rubbing there's they don't necessarily rub along smoothly next to each other and and that is also important to recognize.

That doesn't mean the child doesn't love you. This doesn't mean the parent doesn't love the child. All this means is “hey you know what we kind of butt heads with each other” by the roll of the genetic dice.

We have to take some of the importance of our “role” out of the equation. Yes, we are very important to our children, but in the end, whether they grow up to be wonderful people or not is not totally up to us. Dr.Laura also suggested that if you are interested in this topic, the book The Gardner and the Carpenter by Alison Gopnik is top-notch.

SOME OTHER TAKEAWAYS FROM OUR CONVERSATION:

• If you are interested in these ideas and curious about learning more, this part of psychology is called Cognitive Behavioral Theory.

• Intrusive thoughts can be normal for many people, but if you just had a baby and feel like it’s more than that, here’s an article that I wrote with Dr.Laura about PostPartum Anxiety and what to look for in those first few months: Postpartum Anxiety Quiz: Better Understand Your Symptoms

• Gain distance from habitual or obsessive thoughts by writing them down. Laura keeps what she calls a “Rage Journal.” Doing this can help you see what is most important about the thoughts and what they are trying to tell you — and how irrational they can sometimes be!

Find out more about Dr.Laura Froyen on her website, laurafroyen.com, and she will send you a free self-compassion exercise to try with your family.

Make sure to listen to the episode for a whole lot more information! - Stef

Listen to the Full Episode Here: